Food, Food, Everywhere is Food!

I wake up; feed the kids & dogs. During breakfast, I make school lunches.  While the kids are at school, I have to think about dinner.  They get home from school, it's snack time.  I can't get away from food!  It's like a drug addict also being a dealer, and being told, "don't use the product".  Seriously!  I am too big to eat whatever I want.  I need to be reasonable and responsible.  It is so freaking hard.  My friend brought me a work out DVD to see if that would motivate me to work out at home.  What do I do, look for a job.  What!!  I am procrastinating to the Nth degree.  I am so full of excuses I amaze myself.  I'm afraid.  Of what, I don't know.  Not succeeding, having others judge me.  just simply not wanting to do this for myself.  It's going to be hard and I am just to darn LAZY to take that first step.  I need to eat better.  I need to exercise.  I need to do this for myself and not give excuses.  You know what my favorite magazine is?  Runners World.  Why?  Awesome articles, very motivational.  good in home work outs.  yummy food.  what do it do, the opposite.  why, because I'm an idiot, lazy, full of excuses, already fat.  Grrr.  ok, here i go.  Jillian Michaels, 30 day shred.  Day 1...

Monday's

Most people don't like Monday's because they signify the beginning of the work week or school or some thing that just dosen't seem so fun.  Especially after a usually fun weekend.  As a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM) I don't really mind Monday's.  Really the only difference for me is that I have to make lunches first thing in the morning.  Today, I started out on the right foot.  Showered, grabbed my food journal, and have started "dancing" in the kitchen.  I updated my ipod to have more upbeat music so I turned it on and started jamming.  I can do it.  I will do it.  Now I need to go decide on a healthy dinner for everyone. 

In the Beginning

Well, here I go.  I think I"m ready to start making some serious changes to my daily behavior (health wise).  I have started writing down every thing I eat, and trying to make healthier food decisions.  I've done diets, weight watchers, exercise and I just didn't have the heart to make the "life change" that needs to go with it.  I think now, I'm ready.  I don't like being the only fat mom in the group.  Chairs at movie theaters are getting uncomfortable.  I always thought I was fat before, now I am.  I was just fine before.  I could have toned up, but I was by no means fat.  Sometimes I wish I knew then what I know now.  But, since I can't go back in time, I will change going forward. 

I made a reference the other day to my husband that I think will be a reoccuring theme in my posts.  I said to him "I feel like this (my weight) is my Mt. Everest."  His response was a good one.  You can't climb Mt. Everest in one day so don't think you'll lose weight in one day either.  Wow, very thoughtful.  One has to prepare to climb Mt. Everst.  There are base camps along the way.  It takes months to get to the summit.  So, I have to readjust my thinking and realize that this is going to be a slow climb.  I am not a naturally fat person.  This is not something I've been struggling with my whole life.  I just need to eat less and exercise more. 

Part of my goal will be to journal (blog).  Write down everything I eat.  And get moving!!  Ok, I'll admit, the moving part is going to wait until the weather warms up because I am not going out in this cold weather.  Yes, I can work out in my house, but I won't.  There, I admit it.  I won't work out in my house.  I feel silly. Walking my fat ass in public is much less embarrassing to me. (yes that is said with sarcasm).

I already feel better.  Just getting this much done seems like a good first step.