I thought I would write more than I am. I think a big part of it is that I'm not following any kind of a diet. I was good for about a week, writing down everything I ate, drinking a lot of water, etc. Now, nothing. Pop, cake, frosting. When I'm busy I eat less that's for sure but I find enough down time to "snack" a lot! I was hoping to use this as a personal goal tracker but since I'm not doing anything, there is nothing to track. Kind of hard to admit. To myself, let alone in a public blog. I did try out Jillian Michael's 30 day shred. That was pretty cool. Kicked my ass but I was borrowing it. I did buy the Biggest Loser Challenge for the Wii but I haven't touched it yet. I found a picture of myself from almost 14 years ago and WOW, was I skinny!! I'd say I was reasonable up until 8 years ago after my 1st son was born. I think the real problems started about 4 years ago so clearly this is not some life long problem. It's definetly something that I can reverse. It comes down to laziness. I am to lazy to make healthy decisions in my life. Tonight is my 3rd son's birthday and I made him a cake. We'll probably go out to dinner. Even if we don't I have Stouffers Lasagna. Not very healthy. I have to have my cake. It taseted so good while I was making it, and frosting it. I can't wait to try it all together.
I go to the Dr's tomorrow for a physical. Last time I did that it sent me into a tailspin of depression. The focus was on my weight. I live with it everyday, it's no surprise that I weigh what I do. I know what size my clothes are and how well they fit. I think I am more mentally prepared for some honest speak. That, and I have a new Dr. I don't have some toothpick of a woman telling me I should only eat 1000 calories a day and that it's ok to be hungry. OMG!! First of all, that isn't correct, second of all, if I was eatting even close to 2000 calories a day, I wouldn't look like this. I wonder if hypnosis would work on certain foods. I'd want to not like, sugar, fat, and crave veggies and water. That seems reasonable.
Ok, I'll start fresh tomorrow. Sensa - It worked before so I'll use it again. USE IT, is the key. Biggest Loser for Wii - do my first work out tomorrow. Food, plan my meals for the day and weekend. That sounds like a good next step; plan out meals. I can work on that right now. If I plan my meals, maybe I won't be so tempted to snack so freely inbetween. I'll have something to look forward to.
If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.
