Well, not off to a great start. 251.8. Exactly 1 lb more than last week. Of course, I only wrote in my food journal for 2 1/2 days. We ate out about 5 times, including fast food lunches. I'm and idiot because how the hell do I think I'm going to lose weight doing stupid things like that. I did get outside almost every day though. I feel better physically. I can feel the weight on my bones and I know they need some relief.
Short and sweet!
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Day 1 - DOWN FOR DISNEY
I thought about our Disney trip all night last night. I am so excited and I know the boys have no idea what to expect but I do. I think part of my excitement is to see them experience Disney. What a blessing that we are able to do this with our family.
As promised I am posting my starting weight: 250.8
OMG! It's in print. I want that number to just go down on it's own, just like it went up - on it's own! I have brought out my food journal - again. I have written down my breakfast for the day, which, did in fact include a donut, before I realized what I was doing. But, because I went to the grocery store last night I had lots of other options to complete my meal. I have lunch for the week and my hubby and I sat down together and came up with dinners through Saturday. Good plan, at least where the eatting is concerned. Now I need to get moving. The weather is nice outside so a walk around the neighborhood could net me at least a mile. Plus I have that wonderful Biggest Loser game for the Wii. The right answer for the day is do the BL game. My youngest is sick today so I don't want to take him outside but he can sit on the couch and watch me work out. Then, maybe I can play Mario Brothers with him.
Day 1 - here I go!
As promised I am posting my starting weight: 250.8
OMG! It's in print. I want that number to just go down on it's own, just like it went up - on it's own! I have brought out my food journal - again. I have written down my breakfast for the day, which, did in fact include a donut, before I realized what I was doing. But, because I went to the grocery store last night I had lots of other options to complete my meal. I have lunch for the week and my hubby and I sat down together and came up with dinners through Saturday. Good plan, at least where the eatting is concerned. Now I need to get moving. The weather is nice outside so a walk around the neighborhood could net me at least a mile. Plus I have that wonderful Biggest Loser game for the Wii. The right answer for the day is do the BL game. My youngest is sick today so I don't want to take him outside but he can sit on the couch and watch me work out. Then, maybe I can play Mario Brothers with him.
Day 1 - here I go!
Monday, March 14, 2011
Begin Again
Wow, I am not very good at this blog thing. I have so much to say and I just don't make the time to blog it.
Damages part 1:
So a few weeks ago I went to the Dr. and had a similar conversation with this new Dr. as the one 2 years ago that sent me into a depressive tail spin. The difference. 1 I am already working with counselors and on good meds. 2 - the delivery. The new Dr. was more helpful and old Dr. and seemed to want to help me rather than criticize. Either way, the result is that I will be seeing new Dr. soon and he will be working with me very closely for the next 6 months to really get my weight under control.
Damages part 2: Also a few weeks ago I was in a bad car accident. No one was injured but everyone was shaken up. I was coming home from Ohio to Illinois and not even 30 minutes into my trip I lost control of my car (it was really snowing badly) and a semi clipped my tail end and sent me spinning into the grassy/ slushy median. My kids were terrified and there was nothing I could do but call the cops and thank GOD we were all still alive. I didn't cry then, by holy crap, the next day, I couldn't stop. I just thought of all the bad scenarios that "could have" happened. I am still so pissed at myself for letting that happen. Could I have prevented it, probably, yeah, but I was simply driving to f**ing fast. I still have a lead foot but I catch myself and get it under control quickly now. I feel like my car is jinxed. It's had multiple dents in it since we've gotten it. I get one fixed and another shows up. Now, I've decided jinxed is a bad way of thinking about it. I think a better option is God is trying to tell me something. Mostly, slow down and be careful! That makes much more sense.
Ok, on to part 3 of this blog. Like I said, I have a lot to say and right now I'm just trying to get through the big chunks. Today my husband and I started really planning our family trip to Disney. This will be the first major family trip for us. The boys are 4, 6 & 8 and I know they will love it. Jumping back quickly to my weight, I must say, I am nervous about this vacation. I mentioned in my first post that movie theater seats are getting a bit uncomfortable, I can only imagine how a roller coaster will feel. I may even be over any weight restrictions. I want to have a good time on our trip and being to fat for fun is a real possibility.
So, I came up with a plan. Maybe not a good one, but lets just say that plopping down 4g's on a vacation is as good a goal as any to kick my ass into gear.
(also, I begged my hubby for a treadmill for my birthday)
I even made some better food choices when I went grocery shopping today. My new montra is "Down for Disney". Isn't that a catchy tune?! I am going Down for Disney. I'm still kind of a wuss so I was only going to go for 10lbs but that is just silly, I am so freaking fat that just 1 walk, 2 bottles of water and a partridge in a pear tree could get me down 10 by June. Oh yes, I guess I should put my time frame goal here.
Today March 14, 2011. Date to leave for Disney, June 7, 2011. That is 3 months or more specifically, 12 weeks. Going by the average of 2lbs per week I could be down 24lbs by the time we leave. That would be AMAZING! So, as of this second, that is my goal. 24lbs by June 7th.
I will wake up tomorrow and weigh myself and post my weight. (If you know me please don't look). I will post my weight every Tuesday. Wow, putting it out there is scary, even if it is only for my 3 followers :) But I will need the encouragement so any love would be appreciated.
Oh yeah, one more thing. I bought the Biggest Loser Wii game, still in the box! Gosh, I just need to get moving and I'd feel so much better.
I like to move it, move it...
I am going DOWN FOR DISNEY!!!!!!!
Damages part 1:
So a few weeks ago I went to the Dr. and had a similar conversation with this new Dr. as the one 2 years ago that sent me into a depressive tail spin. The difference. 1 I am already working with counselors and on good meds. 2 - the delivery. The new Dr. was more helpful and old Dr. and seemed to want to help me rather than criticize. Either way, the result is that I will be seeing new Dr. soon and he will be working with me very closely for the next 6 months to really get my weight under control.
Damages part 2: Also a few weeks ago I was in a bad car accident. No one was injured but everyone was shaken up. I was coming home from Ohio to Illinois and not even 30 minutes into my trip I lost control of my car (it was really snowing badly) and a semi clipped my tail end and sent me spinning into the grassy/ slushy median. My kids were terrified and there was nothing I could do but call the cops and thank GOD we were all still alive. I didn't cry then, by holy crap, the next day, I couldn't stop. I just thought of all the bad scenarios that "could have" happened. I am still so pissed at myself for letting that happen. Could I have prevented it, probably, yeah, but I was simply driving to f**ing fast. I still have a lead foot but I catch myself and get it under control quickly now. I feel like my car is jinxed. It's had multiple dents in it since we've gotten it. I get one fixed and another shows up. Now, I've decided jinxed is a bad way of thinking about it. I think a better option is God is trying to tell me something. Mostly, slow down and be careful! That makes much more sense.
Ok, on to part 3 of this blog. Like I said, I have a lot to say and right now I'm just trying to get through the big chunks. Today my husband and I started really planning our family trip to Disney. This will be the first major family trip for us. The boys are 4, 6 & 8 and I know they will love it. Jumping back quickly to my weight, I must say, I am nervous about this vacation. I mentioned in my first post that movie theater seats are getting a bit uncomfortable, I can only imagine how a roller coaster will feel. I may even be over any weight restrictions. I want to have a good time on our trip and being to fat for fun is a real possibility.
So, I came up with a plan. Maybe not a good one, but lets just say that plopping down 4g's on a vacation is as good a goal as any to kick my ass into gear.
(also, I begged my hubby for a treadmill for my birthday)
I even made some better food choices when I went grocery shopping today. My new montra is "Down for Disney". Isn't that a catchy tune?! I am going Down for Disney. I'm still kind of a wuss so I was only going to go for 10lbs but that is just silly, I am so freaking fat that just 1 walk, 2 bottles of water and a partridge in a pear tree could get me down 10 by June. Oh yes, I guess I should put my time frame goal here.
Today March 14, 2011. Date to leave for Disney, June 7, 2011. That is 3 months or more specifically, 12 weeks. Going by the average of 2lbs per week I could be down 24lbs by the time we leave. That would be AMAZING! So, as of this second, that is my goal. 24lbs by June 7th.
I will wake up tomorrow and weigh myself and post my weight. (If you know me please don't look). I will post my weight every Tuesday. Wow, putting it out there is scary, even if it is only for my 3 followers :) But I will need the encouragement so any love would be appreciated.
Oh yeah, one more thing. I bought the Biggest Loser Wii game, still in the box! Gosh, I just need to get moving and I'd feel so much better.
I like to move it, move it...
I am going DOWN FOR DISNEY!!!!!!!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Low on words
I thought I would write more than I am. I think a big part of it is that I'm not following any kind of a diet. I was good for about a week, writing down everything I ate, drinking a lot of water, etc. Now, nothing. Pop, cake, frosting. When I'm busy I eat less that's for sure but I find enough down time to "snack" a lot! I was hoping to use this as a personal goal tracker but since I'm not doing anything, there is nothing to track. Kind of hard to admit. To myself, let alone in a public blog. I did try out Jillian Michael's 30 day shred. That was pretty cool. Kicked my ass but I was borrowing it. I did buy the Biggest Loser Challenge for the Wii but I haven't touched it yet. I found a picture of myself from almost 14 years ago and WOW, was I skinny!! I'd say I was reasonable up until 8 years ago after my 1st son was born. I think the real problems started about 4 years ago so clearly this is not some life long problem. It's definetly something that I can reverse. It comes down to laziness. I am to lazy to make healthy decisions in my life. Tonight is my 3rd son's birthday and I made him a cake. We'll probably go out to dinner. Even if we don't I have Stouffers Lasagna. Not very healthy. I have to have my cake. It taseted so good while I was making it, and frosting it. I can't wait to try it all together.
I go to the Dr's tomorrow for a physical. Last time I did that it sent me into a tailspin of depression. The focus was on my weight. I live with it everyday, it's no surprise that I weigh what I do. I know what size my clothes are and how well they fit. I think I am more mentally prepared for some honest speak. That, and I have a new Dr. I don't have some toothpick of a woman telling me I should only eat 1000 calories a day and that it's ok to be hungry. OMG!! First of all, that isn't correct, second of all, if I was eatting even close to 2000 calories a day, I wouldn't look like this. I wonder if hypnosis would work on certain foods. I'd want to not like, sugar, fat, and crave veggies and water. That seems reasonable.
Ok, I'll start fresh tomorrow. Sensa - It worked before so I'll use it again. USE IT, is the key. Biggest Loser for Wii - do my first work out tomorrow. Food, plan my meals for the day and weekend. That sounds like a good next step; plan out meals. I can work on that right now. If I plan my meals, maybe I won't be so tempted to snack so freely inbetween. I'll have something to look forward to.
If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.
I go to the Dr's tomorrow for a physical. Last time I did that it sent me into a tailspin of depression. The focus was on my weight. I live with it everyday, it's no surprise that I weigh what I do. I know what size my clothes are and how well they fit. I think I am more mentally prepared for some honest speak. That, and I have a new Dr. I don't have some toothpick of a woman telling me I should only eat 1000 calories a day and that it's ok to be hungry. OMG!! First of all, that isn't correct, second of all, if I was eatting even close to 2000 calories a day, I wouldn't look like this. I wonder if hypnosis would work on certain foods. I'd want to not like, sugar, fat, and crave veggies and water. That seems reasonable.
Ok, I'll start fresh tomorrow. Sensa - It worked before so I'll use it again. USE IT, is the key. Biggest Loser for Wii - do my first work out tomorrow. Food, plan my meals for the day and weekend. That sounds like a good next step; plan out meals. I can work on that right now. If I plan my meals, maybe I won't be so tempted to snack so freely inbetween. I'll have something to look forward to.
If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Food, Food, Everywhere is Food!
I wake up; feed the kids & dogs. During breakfast, I make school lunches. While the kids are at school, I have to think about dinner. They get home from school, it's snack time. I can't get away from food! It's like a drug addict also being a dealer, and being told, "don't use the product". Seriously! I am too big to eat whatever I want. I need to be reasonable and responsible. It is so freaking hard. My friend brought me a work out DVD to see if that would motivate me to work out at home. What do I do, look for a job. What!! I am procrastinating to the Nth degree. I am so full of excuses I amaze myself. I'm afraid. Of what, I don't know. Not succeeding, having others judge me. just simply not wanting to do this for myself. It's going to be hard and I am just to darn LAZY to take that first step. I need to eat better. I need to exercise. I need to do this for myself and not give excuses. You know what my favorite magazine is? Runners World. Why? Awesome articles, very motivational. good in home work outs. yummy food. what do it do, the opposite. why, because I'm an idiot, lazy, full of excuses, already fat. Grrr. ok, here i go. Jillian Michaels, 30 day shred. Day 1...
Monday, January 24, 2011
Monday's
Most people don't like Monday's because they signify the beginning of the work week or school or some thing that just dosen't seem so fun. Especially after a usually fun weekend. As a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM) I don't really mind Monday's. Really the only difference for me is that I have to make lunches first thing in the morning. Today, I started out on the right foot. Showered, grabbed my food journal, and have started "dancing" in the kitchen. I updated my ipod to have more upbeat music so I turned it on and started jamming. I can do it. I will do it. Now I need to go decide on a healthy dinner for everyone.
Friday, January 21, 2011
In the Beginning
Well, here I go. I think I"m ready to start making some serious changes to my daily behavior (health wise). I have started writing down every thing I eat, and trying to make healthier food decisions. I've done diets, weight watchers, exercise and I just didn't have the heart to make the "life change" that needs to go with it. I think now, I'm ready. I don't like being the only fat mom in the group. Chairs at movie theaters are getting uncomfortable. I always thought I was fat before, now I am. I was just fine before. I could have toned up, but I was by no means fat. Sometimes I wish I knew then what I know now. But, since I can't go back in time, I will change going forward.
I made a reference the other day to my husband that I think will be a reoccuring theme in my posts. I said to him "I feel like this (my weight) is my Mt. Everest." His response was a good one. You can't climb Mt. Everest in one day so don't think you'll lose weight in one day either. Wow, very thoughtful. One has to prepare to climb Mt. Everst. There are base camps along the way. It takes months to get to the summit. So, I have to readjust my thinking and realize that this is going to be a slow climb. I am not a naturally fat person. This is not something I've been struggling with my whole life. I just need to eat less and exercise more.
Part of my goal will be to journal (blog). Write down everything I eat. And get moving!! Ok, I'll admit, the moving part is going to wait until the weather warms up because I am not going out in this cold weather. Yes, I can work out in my house, but I won't. There, I admit it. I won't work out in my house. I feel silly. Walking my fat ass in public is much less embarrassing to me. (yes that is said with sarcasm).
I already feel better. Just getting this much done seems like a good first step.
I made a reference the other day to my husband that I think will be a reoccuring theme in my posts. I said to him "I feel like this (my weight) is my Mt. Everest." His response was a good one. You can't climb Mt. Everest in one day so don't think you'll lose weight in one day either. Wow, very thoughtful. One has to prepare to climb Mt. Everst. There are base camps along the way. It takes months to get to the summit. So, I have to readjust my thinking and realize that this is going to be a slow climb. I am not a naturally fat person. This is not something I've been struggling with my whole life. I just need to eat less and exercise more.
Part of my goal will be to journal (blog). Write down everything I eat. And get moving!! Ok, I'll admit, the moving part is going to wait until the weather warms up because I am not going out in this cold weather. Yes, I can work out in my house, but I won't. There, I admit it. I won't work out in my house. I feel silly. Walking my fat ass in public is much less embarrassing to me. (yes that is said with sarcasm).
I already feel better. Just getting this much done seems like a good first step.
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