Low on words

I thought I would write more than I am.  I think a big part of it is that I'm not following any kind of a diet.  I was good for about a week, writing down everything I ate, drinking a lot of water, etc.  Now, nothing.  Pop, cake, frosting.  When I'm busy I eat less that's for sure but I find enough down time to "snack" a lot!  I was hoping to use this as a personal goal tracker but since I'm not doing anything, there is nothing to track.  Kind of hard to admit.  To myself, let alone in a public blog.  I did try out Jillian Michael's 30 day shred.  That was pretty cool.  Kicked my ass but I was borrowing it.  I did buy the Biggest Loser Challenge for the Wii but I haven't touched it yet.  I found a picture of myself from almost 14 years ago and WOW, was I skinny!!  I'd say I was reasonable up until 8 years ago after my 1st son was born.  I think the real problems started about 4 years ago so clearly this is not some life long problem.  It's definetly something that I can reverse.  It comes down to laziness.  I am to lazy to make healthy decisions in my life.  Tonight is my 3rd son's birthday and I made  him a cake.  We'll probably go out to dinner.  Even if we don't I have Stouffers Lasagna.  Not very healthy.  I have to have my cake.  It taseted so good while I was making it, and frosting it.  I can't wait to try it all together. 

I go to the Dr's tomorrow for a physical.  Last time I did that it sent me into a tailspin of depression.  The focus was on my weight.  I live with it everyday, it's no surprise that I weigh what I do.  I know what size my clothes are and how well they fit.  I think I am more mentally prepared for some honest speak.  That, and I have a new Dr.  I don't have some toothpick of a woman telling me I should only eat 1000 calories a day and that it's ok to be hungry.  OMG!!  First of all, that isn't correct, second of all, if I was eatting even close to 2000 calories a day, I wouldn't look like this.   I wonder if hypnosis would work on certain foods.  I'd want to not like, sugar, fat, and crave veggies and water.  That seems reasonable. 

Ok, I'll start fresh tomorrow.  Sensa - It worked before so I'll use it again.  USE IT, is the key.  Biggest Loser for Wii - do my first work out tomorrow.  Food, plan my meals for the day and weekend.  That sounds like a good next step; plan out meals. I can work on that right now.  If I plan my meals, maybe I won't be so tempted to snack so freely inbetween.  I'll have something to look forward to.

If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.